Tag Archives: beginning in the end

Things You’ll Never Know

I’m sorry
For the way
I acted
Around you

I’m sorry
For everything
I did to you
Said to you

I’m sorry
For who I was
Who I became
Around you

I’m sorry
That I’m sorry
You don’t deserve
To know how I feel

I’m sorry
I gave you power
Over me
Never again

I’m sorry
I made you hurt
So much so
That you would hurt me

I’m sorry
If I broke you
Know that
I didn’t want to

Mostly
I’m sorry
That I’m sorry
You don’t deserve that

The more
I think it through
The more I know
I should never have trusted you

I know things now
I didn’t know then
Things you’ll never know.

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Overcoming PTSD Quote

I’m not crazy, I was abused.

I’m not shy, I’m protecting myself.

I’m not bitter, I’m speaking the truth.

I’m not hanging onto the past, I’ve been damaged.

I’m not delusional, I lived a nightmare.

I’m not weak, I was trusting.

I’m not giving up, I’m healing.

I’m not incapable of love, I’m giving.

I’m not alone.  I see you all here.  I’m fighting this.

— Rene Smith

Alexis’s Graduation Speech (Castle Season, Episode 23)

“There is a universal truth we all have to face, whether we want to or not, everything eventually ends. As much as I’ve looked forward to this day, I’ve always disliked endings. Last day of summer, the final chapter of a great book, parting ways with a close friend. But endings are inevitable, Leaves fall, you close the book. You say goodbye. Today is one of those days for us. Today we say goodbye to everything that was familiar, everything that was comfortable. We’re moving on. But just because we’re leaving, and that hurts, there’s some people who are so much a part of us, they’ll be with us no matter what. They are our solid ground. Our North Star. And the small clear voices in our hearts that will be with us … always.”

Presented by Molly Quinn as Alexis in the hit TV series Castle on ABC

“Silver Springs” by Fleetwood Mac

You could be my silver springs
Blue green colors flashin’
I would be your only dream
Your shining autumn, ocean crashing
And did you say she was pretty
And did you say that she loves you
Baby, I don’t wanna know

I’ll begin not to love you
Turn around, see me runnin’
I’ll say I loved you years ago
Tell myself you never loved me, no
And did you say she was pretty
And did you say that she loves you
Baby, I don’t wanna know
Oh, no
And can you tell me was it worth it
Really, I don’t wanna know

Time casts a spell on you, but you won’t forget me
I know I could have loved you, but you would not let me

Time casts a spell on you, but you won’t forget me
I know I could have loved you, but you would not let me
I’ll follow you down til’ the sound of my voice will haunt you
You’ll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you

Time casts a spell on you, but you won’t forget me
I know I could have loved you, but you would not let me
I’ll follow you down til’ the sound of my voice will haunt you
You’ll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you

Time casts a spell on you, but you won’t forget me
I know I could have loved you, but you would not let me
I’ll follow you down til’ the sound of my voice will haunt you
You’ll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you
You could be my silver springs
My blue green colors flashin’

Learned It On Me – One Lost Day; The Indigo Girls

there comes a time eventually
when the cold black water goes under the bridge
so I say yes we can meet up
it’s been too long and life goes on and I can do this

you wanna thank me for everything you’ve learned
for what went wrong and how I’ve paved the path
for the corner than you turned
and this is what you’ve learned

what you you lack from love is not a lack in someone else
and everyone has baggage to be carried
you learn that one plus one is one plus one is never more or less
and once you finally got it you got married

I guess I should be happy I’m the course that set you free
I just wish you hadn’t learned it on me

I’m better now though you almost broke me
and at the time I couldn’t see past my confusion
when I believed that love was real and not a bag of tricks
and you were always just more gifted at illusion (you wanna thank me for everything you’ve learned)

and you wanna thank me for everything I’ve learned
from the hard-knocks and the troubles
and the point of no return
all the bridges that you burn

what you you lack in love is not a lack in someone else
and everyone has baggage to be carried
you learn that one plus one is one plus one is never more or less
and once you finally got it you got married

I’m glad your education made you happy by degree
I just wish you hadn’t learned it on me

I guess I’m glad that I’ve seen you face to face
It’s just slightly more cathartic than a letter
but the line is pretty fine in fact it’s pretty much erased
between humility and making you feel better

And some is false and some is true and now I know
it’s just me and it’s just you
and it’s just the way it goes
and now that book is closed

what you you lack in love is not a lack in someone else (what you lack in love)
and everyone has baggage to be carried
you learn that one plus one is one plus one is never more or less (one plus one is one plus one)
best of luck to that girl you married

smiling on her little learning tree
I wish you hadn’t learned it on me

Healing is Believing

Finally

I can feel again

but now it’s good

for the first time

in what seems like forever

It happened on Easter

or rather the day before

when I hit rock bottom

once again

but this time

I cried out for help

and I actually got it

I got used to

fighting my own fight

in total autonomy

but not this time

I have awoken

from the nightmare of the bast few months

I broke free of the chains binding me

and like Jesus Christ

I broke free

on Easter Sunday

I have started again

but I’m stronger now

even more a survivor

than before

Because I now know

there is something else with me

watching over me

guiding and protecting me

loving me unconditionally

God, Goddess, Allah, Buddha, Zeus

whatever you call it

the celestial force that surrounds us

must truly exist

and be a benevolent supreme being

because who else would be watching

a struggling first year

recovering from another heartbreak

and prove

through human mouthpieces

that there is someone here

whenever you fall

they will catch you

and get you back on your feet

stronger than ever before