Lost in the Dark

every time

I think I’m finally whole again

something happens

and my heart shatters

into a million pieces

again

I try to be strong

so many depend on me

to protect them

keep everything together

so no one else breaks

my friends try to help

but telling them

only makes it worse

I can’t handle their pity

I don’t want to make them feel bad

it’s my life

not theirs

I fight alone

in the darkness

lately

I’ve been trapped

one thing after another

breaks me

and I can’t heal that fast

the fire I once had

the flame that kept me going

is getting smothered

without my light

I can’t see through the night

that keeps getting darker

like an eclipse

the numbness is overwhelming

slowly consuming my mind

my soul

and my entire body

to the point where I can’t feel a thing

school is pointless

it’s so dark and cold

I can’t focus

even if I try

the meds will help

they say

you’ll feel better

it will help

they promise

just keep holding on

but they don’t help

all they to

is make me even more numb

it’s gotten so hard

I can’t fight anymore

I wanna give up

go to sleep

and pray this is all just a dream

on one knows

how much effort it takes

to go one each day

pretending everything’s fine

this darkness is truth

as I get older

I realize everyone lies

all the time

about anything and everything

to protect themselves

but claim thy’re protecting me

the damage done

is permanent

I no longer trust

anything

or anyone

not even myself

I’ve lost everything

and nothing at the same time

who I was is gone

dead in the ground

I’m searching for who I am

after everything was stripped away

forever

it makes me angry

that everything I’ve worked for

is gone forever

now I don’t know

who I am

I’ve lost so much

thanks to the lies I was fed

and the home that was broken

when I was a kid

only one person

has told me the truth

and now he’s dying

I don’t know

if I can recover from this

this might be the blow

that destroys me

once and for all

soon, all I’ll have are memories

to keep me safe and warm

but I don’t know if it’s enough

I wish I could run away

from all of this

fly away

like a raven in the night

disappear

would anyone notice

would I even be missed

would anyone care

and come search for me

or would I fade away

invisible

I feel like I’ve been buried alive

breathing is so hard

and I’m so tired

can’t I give up yet?

they all see me smiling

like nothing is wrong

but it’s all just an act

and I struggle to survive

fake it ’til you make it

or until you’ve fooled everyone

even yourself

you’ve made them believe

you bounce back

like a super-ball

but even super-balls break

elastic will snap

plastic cracks like porcelain

flesh and bone

are fragile too

more so than many admit

I’m holding on

but I’m starting to slip

coming to the tipping point

not sure how much more I can handle

I’m breaking

from inside out

my sanity is ebbing away

and my will to live is dissapating

someone

please save me

I’ve been strong for too long

some one please save me

I can’t hold on anymore

catch me as I fall

show me it will be okay

that I can live another day

I’m not strong enough

this is my limit

help me

I’m drowning

help me

goodbye.

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One thought on “Lost in the Dark

  1. Let me know if you’d like to talk … Big Hug.

    On Sat, Oct 19, 2013 at 4:26 PM, PeaceLoveMusic007 wrote:

    > ** > peacelovemusic007 posted: “every timeI think I’m finally whole > againsomething happensand my heart shattersinto a million pieces again I > try to be strongso many depend on meto protect themkeep everything > togetherso no one else breaks my friends try to helpbut telling themonly > makes “

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